Close

So, here's the scene: I'm cooking dinner in my tiny kitchen. As I work, I have the added challenge of maneuvering around, over, and between kids, cars, crayons, coloring books, and a good bit of chaos. For a moment, my culinary attempts cease. I watch and smile. This scene pretty much sums up my life. Countless times I've wondered why my children repeatedly choose to set up shop in the exact.same.place I am working. Why they choose chillin' on a cement floor in the basement watching us exercise in the morning versus sleeping an extra hour in their cozy beds. Why they request assistance doing things they can easily do alone.

It hit me: our little people lack the need to be separated, to have or give space. One thing always brings them comfort and contentment: closeness. They long to be near, to be seen, to be admired. They flourish in feeling wanted, adored, accepted. They look to us as a source of these things; consequently, they remain close.

As demanding as their closeness can be, I treasure it, for I know it won't last forever. My heart is full as I memorize the faces and forms of my sweet children. I know these moments are fleeting and the memories, gold. I know that one day soon they will spread their wings and fly. They will dream big dreams and pursue big goals. They will be independent, mature, grown. The irony of parenting is that we pour ourselves into our children, not to keep them close, but to let them go.

Only one relationship is most mature when we are most dependent: our relationship with our Heavenly Father. One primary goal of parenting is that we imitate to them the love Christ has for them so closely that they begin to grasp it, taste it, glimpse it. Our goal is to mirror that relationship in their lives so that their nearness to Him gives them confidence to leave us. We try and often we fail, but we keep pointing their eyes and their focus to their Heavenly Father - the only One who can fully meet their soul cravings for love, closeness, acceptance, and belonging. We raise them up to send them out - on mission with Him and for Him. We find joy in watching Him captivate their hearts and their dreams. We release them, knowing that the same One who holds us close goes with them, too. He remains close. Forever.

Some Days

So, I hate mention it, but some days we really have it together around here. You know, those days where the kids sleep in long enough for me to have some time to exercise, read, sip a cup of coffee, AND take a peaceful shower before they open their sweet little eyes. Where the kids wake up vibrantly refreshed and cheerful, have a jolly old time playing together, using their imaginations, and giggling their way through the day. Those days where none of them have a nose running like a faucet, they all choose kleenex over nose picking, and they all make it to the toilet AND remember to flush. Those days where they play nicely with their things and somehow remember to pick them up, too. Those days where we use words like "Sweetie" over "Meanie!" and phrases like, "I love you" over "I'm not going to be your friend anymore!!" You know. Those days.

Of course to be fair I have to include those other days. You know, those days when you wake up to a kid sitting on your head loudly telling you they want breakfast, where you can barely pry your eyes open to crawl out of bed, let alone keep up with their already explosive energy. Those days where they wake up fighting, where they pick and poke and peck at each other so consistently that tears and tantrums break out every 5 minutes. Where after an hour or so of that, you officially hit the limit and completely lose it correct them and snap something to the effect of, "STOP FIGHTING AND SHOW SOME SELF CONTROL!!" (ahem.) Where you're so glad that you can start the day afresh after a good night of sleep and decide begin the bedtime process, only to realize it's only 11AM. ;) You know. Those days.

And of course while I say all of this with perhaps some slight exaggeration, I hope I'm not alone in this: some days raising littles are just plain beautiful, and others feel a bit more like survival. And for a fam of 6 that has just moved internationally and are now adjusting to a new time zone, a new culture, a new way of life, not to mention living out of suitcases for a few months and currently residing in a tiny two bedroom apartment with no way of transport save our own two feet, not to mention the emotional stress of all of the goodbyes we've had this past month... Well, let's just be real, here. We all have had our roller coaster moments, and we definitely have not found our new normal quite yet.

And so this last week when the Lord kept repeatedly placing a certain Scripture into my mind and before my eyes, I have tried to latch on and treasure it's Truth: Hebrews 13:8 - Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

The same. The same. The SAME.

We never have to wonder about our Jesus. We don't have to try to guess His mood, relieve His stress, help Him cope. We don't have to doubt His character, question His power,  or wonder if He's going to have the patience and strength to deal with us today. In the midst of our unpredictable, ever changing lives, He's the constant. Every other thing in our world will at some point change in some way, but not Jesus. He's the anchor. He's ever near. He's the steadfast, holy, good, loving, caring, burden bearer that never leaves us, that walks with us through every change and through it all remains. The same.

And as I reflect on that Truth about my Savior, I find myself asking Him to build into my life that kind of consistency. The kind where my moods and my speech and my actions are not determined by how I feel or by my circumstances, but by what is true. Where regardless of my situation, I love like He does, care like He cares, give like He gives. Where I trust when it's hard and when I can't explain why, when I walk in Truth both when I'm comfortable and when I'm not. I pray that God gives me the grace to be consistent, because He is.

It all comes full circle, you know. Because when my life looks like His, I can say to those beautiful little people that He has placed in my care, "Imitate me, as I also imitate Christ." (1Cor11:1)

So while I know that I will fail, I make it my aim to be like Him. And the next time we have one of "those days," may it point us all to the one who remains the same. Not just some days...but ALWAYS.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Babies don't keep...

Cooking and cleaning can wait 'til tomorrow,

for babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow;

So quiet down cobwebs; dust go to sleep,

I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

Babies don't keep...

Cooking and cleaning can wait 'til tomorrow,

for babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow;

So quiet down cobwebs; dust go to sleep,

I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

Sacred Parenting

This past fall, Brandon and I were a part of a class at church on Wednesday nights that read through the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. Sadly, Brandon missed most of the sessions because of his training schedule, but that book has now topped my list as the most profound and challenging marriage book I've read to date. You can imagine how excited I was to find that Gary Thomas also has a Sacred Parenting book - and that there was going to be a class on it at church this spring.



This past week was our first week, so I'm only two chapters into the book, but already I have been incredibly moved and challenged by the excellent Biblical Truth articulated in this book. Incredible. Both the marriage and the parenting books focus on how God created the family unit not to make us happy, but to produce in us a holiness that mirrors Christ. The book shares how our spouses and our children are a mirror that reveals who we really are and what we really value.

I feel like God has been working in my heart recently regarding our parenting - not necessarily the "how to's" of parenting; we all have different personalities, different styles, and different approaches. The challenge for me is learning how to go beyond mere behavior modification to addressing heart issues. The challenge is making the parenting and discipline of my kids a way that I communicate the Gospel. God has been challenging my heart regarding my mission in parenting, my ultimate goals, and my definition of success in parenting.



I find myself asking what legacy I'm building into the hearts of my kids. When they grow and look back on their childhood, what will they say my priorities and passions were? How they answer that question will reveal so much about my heart and what I really lived for. Let's face it - those little eyes are always watching, ever perceiving. How we interact with them says a great deal about what we value.

Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the tasks of life: the cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, and endless to-do lists. Sometimes I go for days without really considering how the activities of my day had eternal impact. I'm having to learn that only when I allow God to redeem and fill those daily tasks can they have eternal significance. I can teach my kids to be obedient, prompt, respectful, and tidy without ever impacting their hearts or filling their souls with the rich Truth of the Gospel. Or I can make those things a means by which I make God's Heart known to them, a means in which God's Heart is reflected through me.



One thing is for certain - parenting tops my list as one of  the most challenging, rewarding, and sanctifying journeys of my life. How thankful I am for these beautiful treasures in our care!

936

At a recent MOPS meeting, one of the speakers shared that we only have 936 weekends with our children before they turn 18.  Her statement struck me and has stuck in my mind ever since. Of course I won’t get to spend all of those 936 weekends with my kids – especially when they hit the age where we are no longer “their world,” and they start spending more time with friends, attending sleepovers or youth group events, going on mission trips, participating in sports activities, and maybe even studying once in awhile. ;-)

[caption id="attachment_73" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Sunday afternoon baseball..."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_72" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Ellie on "first base";)"][/caption]

Brandon and I were talking about this last night, and about how desperately we want to make the moments count with our kids – investing in them, teaching them, discipling them, enjoying them, playing with them, creating memories and traditions with them, laughing with them, cuddling with them, and loving them.

[caption id="attachment_76" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Everybody tackle Daddy!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_70" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Sliiiiding into first base... ;)"][/caption]

The fact that Brandon’s job often takes him away from home for extended periods of time or, as is the case right now, can be highly demanding time-wise even when he is home, puts a whole new spin on things for us. Family time comes at a premium, and we are quickly learning not to take it for granted.

[caption id="attachment_78" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="An attempt at a family pic...this makes me laugh!"][/caption]





Sometimes the challenges of parenthood – trying to figure out discipline, losing sleep, cleaning up endless messes, constant training – distract my focus away from the incredible gift I have been given in each of my children.  It’s so good to be reminded that this season of my life is incredibly rich, filled to the brim and overflowing with opportunities - to make an eternal difference in the hearts of my children, to develop a relationship with them that will last a lifetime, and to grow and be changed myself in the process.



Li’l B is almost 5. That means we have already spent nearly 260 of those 936 weekends with him.  Time is flying.  Life is short. I just want to make it count.

[caption id="attachment_79" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Photography by Li'l B :)"][/caption]

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Ps. 90:12